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(Betcha can't score more than 15 points by the end of the day!) One-Point Gags -------------------- • Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you. • In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out "Yahtzee!" • Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way." • Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye." • Run one lap around the office at top speed. • To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. • Walk sideways to the photocopier. • When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!" • While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open. Three-Point Gags ------------------------- • Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it." • Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight). • Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice). • Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers. • Shout random numbers while someone is counting. Five-Point Gags ---------------------- • After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, "The report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour. • Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do number two." • At lunch time get down on your knees and announce "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again." • At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself). • Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "Ya wanna trade?" • Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it." • Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk. • For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'. • Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out. • In a colleagues diary, write in 10:00 am "See how I look in tights." • In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!" • Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now" • Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, answer, "not now" and walk away. • Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times. • While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator. • While talking to a colleague, pick your nose. |
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